The Unexpected Gift: Appreciating Life's Nice Moments

 

While in midtown on an errand, I had the pleasure of running right smack dab into a 10-foot high 6-foot wide fresh floral display in the middle of the sidewalk on Fifth Avenue. NYC is a wonderous place but this was an atypical sight. I guessed that the display was a remnant of the prior day's Easter Parade. On a busy block full of people, only 4 other individuals had stopped to look. It seemed other folks were buried in their thoughts or phones. Perhaps many were in a rush to their next appointment. 

They missed out on one of life's nice, unexpected moments. And it smelled nice, too.

Here's hoping you'll stop to smell the roses when they pop up in front of your nose....

Stressful Times? Mindfulness Lines....

More and more folks are speaking with me about the anxieties that have arisen or worsened over the past few months with the dynamic change in our current environment.

Fortunately, there are useful stress-reduction tools with free access via the world's
largest video library, YouTube.

True, you could watch the cute animal snippets, cooking tutorials or slapstick home movies that are routinely posted.

I'd like to suggest that you spend a half hour with Jon Kabat-Zinn as he leads a session on Mindfulness Meditation during a workshop at Google.
Here's the link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAtC489sVDg

Kabat-Zinn defines mindfullness as 
"The awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgementally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment.”(2003, pg. 145)
(Kabat-Zinn,, J. Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future  
 Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10 (2) (2003), pp. 144–156)

I hope you'll let yourself experience this short journey with a pioneer guide.
As a long-time proponent of this approach to life and self-care, JKZ knows what he's doing.

Until next time, take good care.

Serendipity, Mindfulness and Fear of Public Speaking

We've all checked our e-mail anticipating that there will be any number of irrelevant notices, advertisements or solicitations. But, sometimes, there is an unexpected pleasure waiting for us. Perhaps it's an letter from a long lost friend or an invitation to a party or a beautifully composed article of interest. . Today, my mailbox "serendipity" comes from Working Mindfully, a e-newsletter published by a management consulting firm that offers mindfulness training for corporations. The e-letter article, reprinted below, has a wonderful explanation of how meditation practices can help in coping with everyday anxieties, such as public speaking. (My thanks to Andy Lee. For the full newsletter (Winter, 2015) go to www.workingmindfully.com) It's a good read. Mindfulness and the Big Presentation Public speaking is one of the most common workplace fears - even the smallest ones can raise the blood pressure a notch or two. And as the presentation bets bigger, so does the anxiety. Of course some level of arousal is beneficial to performance, but for many people presentation anxiety can get in the way of their doing their best But it doesn’t have to be this way. Taking a mindful approach to the big presentation can help you avoid getting overly anxious, and can also help you to deliver your message more effectively and connect with our audience more deeply.  Mind your Ego Generally the more nervous we get, the more self-focused we become. When they sense a threat or a risk, our egos can become very noisy and demanding. The internal dialog can give us all kinds of alerts about what other people are thinking of us, and how disastrous ‘failure’ could be. Needless to say, this type of internal dialog gets in the way of our perceiving the world clearly and acting skillfully. When you sense this ego shift happening, see if you can notice the internal dialog and remember that your ego’s rantings are only thoughts, not imperatives – it’s still up to you how you respond. ow are a few things you can do when you feel presentation anxiety beginning to mount: Burst the ego bubble. Turn the focus of your attention away from yourself for a few minutes. Take a moment to speak to someone else and find out what's going on for them. Or feel a sense of gratitude for all that has happened to give you this speaking opportunity. These simple acts will help to break the trance that your ego can put you in, and reconnect you to the world around you and your purpose in it. Focus on your message. Remember why you are presenting. The purpose of your presentation is actually not to prove once and for all that you’re a smart and worthwhile person. Instead, it is to deliver a particular message to a specific audience. Instead of worrying about how you come across, focus on what you can do to get your message across to this audience, on this occasion. Be of service. The most compelling message will fall flat if your audience senses that your intention is other than to be of service to them. During the presentation, remember to check in with your audience to make sure that they’re following you. Give examples of how your message relates to their situations and priorities. Or simply ask yourself, “How can I be of service to this audience?” and act on what arises. All three of these suggestions have a common thread, which is this: To do your best, you need to get your ego out of your way. By worrying less about how you are judged and more about what you can offer, you free yourself up to be your best. This is good to remember at any time, and especially when the presentation anxiety kicks in.

The Paradox of Working to Relax

Clinical studies have routinely backed the benefit of mindfulness meditation exercises for folks dealing with issues as diverse as:

anxiety and panic attacks
http://www.brainresearch.us/meditation.pdf

depression                   

http://www-psych.stanford.edu/~pgoldin/Buddhism/MBCTrelapsedepressionTeasdale2000JCCP.pdf

obsessive-compulsive disorder
http://ukpmc.ac.uk/abstract/MED/18311106/

bipolar disorder    
http://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/ijct.2009.2.4.373

stress-related paranoia
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19545481

borderline personality disorder
http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1995-98090-000

grief
HumphreyFM.pdf

and eating disorders.
http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1999-05597-007 

Those of us needing basic stress-relief can use it, too. 
http://newsinhealth.nih.gov/issue/Jan2012/Feature2  

The challenge remains for us to weave mindfulness exercises into our daily schedules, especially in the demanding hustle bustle of New York City life.


Who knew that taking a moment or two to scan one's body for tension and focus on breathing through it was so hard?
Gradually filling ones lungs with air would seem to be easy, except that our mind travels away from the task so quickly.
 "Did I remember to buy milk?
"This is boring!"
 "My foot itches."
"What did my boss mean by that?"

Staying in the "present" rather than reliving the past, obsessing about the future or judging ourselves and others can be an Olympian task.

I like to recommend the free downloads at Zencast.org to help you along the way.

Some favorites are:
Zencast 129: "Radical Acceptance" by psychologist, Tara Brach
Zencast 96: "Forgiveness" by Matt White Band
Zencast 67: "Being in the Moment" by Bodhipaksa
Zencast 254: "Basic Introduction to Meditation" by Gil Fronsdal

Let me know what you think of this valuable resource!

Until next, take very good care.